I'm a SubHUMAN

HaPPy NeW Year!

Goodbye 2011 and Hello to 2012

My 2011.... I had good times, i had bad times, i had stressful times, i had happy times, i got let down by some people, i let down some people myself, i had arguments, i made people close to me cry, people close to me made me cry. I felt a lo of pain, i felt a lot of joy, i got depressed, i bounced back again, i tried to be there for those i loved all the time but faced up to reality that I'm not a Superhuman no matter how hard i try to be.I made some of friends, i lost some friends, i made new contacts, i lost old contacts, i saw more stuff that made me want to go crazy, i saw some stuff that made me sad, i saw some stuff that made me laugh. I saw some stuff that just plain shocked me, i realized more than ever that lovers can't be friends, i realized more than ever that you can't choose who you love. I fount myself, i lost myself, I fount myself again. I put on weight, I lost my weight, put on weight again lost weight again, at the moment I'm still putting weight. The heavens gained an angel (R.I.P. PAPA, i will always love you no matter what we went through), I want to thank everybody that offered me their condolences, shoulders to lean on and their ears to hear my thoughts through the period of my PAPA's death, you are all amazing people and I appreciate you all so much, I lived with family, cousin's actually.I heard some things i would never believe, i fount out some things were bullshit, i fount out some things were true (That shit Hurts). I got told I was rubbish at what i do. I got told I was amazing at what I do, I made a lot of haters, I converted a lot of haters in to lovers, I got told I was Smart and going places by the same people that didn't really believe in me or where I was going, I signed contracts, I got big cheques, I got small cheques, I worked with some amazing people, I made Mistakes, some I learned from and some I'm still learning from. I kept building onto my foundations, I forgot loads of stuff, I calculated the Key of Happiness: Love, Laughter, Trust. I think I've fount that harmony now, I realized I can't forgive myself easily for doing others wrong, I got taken for granted at times, I took those close to me for granted at times. I accepted failure for the first time in years but really I didn't fall i now realize I was at a dead end so jumped over the wall. Last and certainly thank you 2011 for this colorful year.. yeah because it's all black and white, and all that i can remember from it, all that affected me from it, positive and negative and everything that made me strong and entering 2012 going strong than ever, doing what i love to do, surrounded by the people I love..Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012!!!

Smart ASS

Hello kids, older kids, teenager, older teenager,and anyone older than me would make you an adult. Yeebah!

     I so don't get the point of so called Perfect Girl or Perfect Guy for a certain Man's or Girls dream. it always turned out that every person involved in this society want to stand out and be notice by some other guys who they want to be with or their crushes which he/she was the main character in all of the daydreams made, and if this certain guy (crush) sites his wishlist for a girlfriend. insecurities comes out and you want to change your personality little by little. So your crush will definitely notice you and asked you out.

     Welcome to my "Sometimes-Club". I call it "sometimes" club because, every now and then i find myself disagreeing with the ways of the world and liking things uniquely or different, or just.... old fashioned. And some people think that it is wrong to like stuff that is not in the loop, but i say go for it.

    It could be this society holds you  for doing this. you want to feel is the ideal things for a man to come sweep off your feet. But times are changing and men no longer due to the death to win women (generally speaking). Add the fact that more and more men would rather be woman, more aggressive tactics should be employed.

    Time is everything, if you really  like someone and have the right window for you to strike. Failure is a part of life, but you have to try or you'll drown in your "What If's". Find something you have in common before deciding to act, for doing otherwise could be recipe for disaster. Better yet, get to know your guy well and don't rush the process. Coming off to aggressively can be a turn-off for guys, give him space without disappearing from the picture. Be sweet but don't overdo it. Send signs without saying it, use body language,dress up, look beautiful, listen when he says something and have opinions of your own.

   Some results may not always be to your liking, the common denominator of all these cases was that the women tried. You won't get any results unless you actually take on the challenge, Just remember to be yourself. Don't sell yourself cheap, and realize that things don't always have fairytale ending for that is just how life and love really work.

 And here's a picture of my ultimate crush.... just sharing

Have a Cheerful Day EARTHLINGS!!!

Mother's know best

A mother, is a woman who raised a child, given birth to a child. I think it said it all..

I made this blog just to say a few words about my Mother and what I understand about the word MOTHER.

Mother for me is the best person you ever have on your entire life.The person you wanna be with always, this certain person you wanna share this secrets, feeling and thoughts you have, and this certain person whose you gonna say thank you every time you got this chance.

I can say that my mom is not that perfect mom, she also got flaws, and most of all made a mistake. But she's all I wanna be with, were not this very close but sometimes we get along with. Even though my mom is not always there she always takes time to text me and find out if I'm OK. She always gives us support and encouragement.

She usually check on me like texting me if I'm OK? Did I behave towards nanny, Did I fill up the gas? Did I pay for my credits, Did I wander less? Simple words yet full of care. I really miss touching her hair and make fun of her cheeks and nose. I miss talking senseless with her. But every time we had a chance to chat and do some video call I am relieved cause I can see that she's doing fine.

I want her to realize that she's not alone that We are always here for her. that we forever love her and thank her every minute of my life. I love you MAMA...

The Rainbow Kid

I belI believe that there is a creator and we all are meant to do something grand in the future,well that is if we would do something about it though. Success don't just happen overnight, they are made and I am one of those who are dying to make all SHIT happen. 

I deal things my own ways and I do have my own beliefs, well atleast that's what my elders has thought me and did adopted part from it and did modify a little (lol) but, either way I am me, I believe I am unique and actually we all are, we just have to know ourselves better and that's what I am pretty much advanced at. I am an advocate of INDIVIDUALISM... you can spray alot of SHIT to my face, try to say NASTY words to my ears or just try to step on my FUCKING ego but at the end of the day, I know ME and nobody can bring that down.

I do have alot of friends, but I trust only FEW. I love my friends equally and treat them with respect and also treat them like how I would want to be treated. Part of my personality is molded because of their love and values, somehow they are the foundation of what I really am.

I drink, smoke, scratch, kick and can kill and for some reason people would brand me as a WILD CHILD like an alcohol drinker, cigarette smoker, shit starter. I do alot of those but its just a core that people should understand, we all have that and they can JUDGE me, but never can change my whole totality. 

Side Effects

          I always wanted my own named light but yeah it's too impossible to have one. I created this blog simply because i wanted to express my feelings this past few weeks.And this past few weeks I'm behaving into self destruction, because i just feel every time that i need a break and sometimes feels to do a work and sometimes i just feel so lazy that i don't want to get off my bed,and i simply blame it to my crazy/kiddie/imaginative brain of mine..

         And that one time i'm just alone, staring on that blinking lights, i suddenly felt i'm not that worthy for anything i have since i do some useless things and vices which you can't imagine doing yourself (and i don't care what you think about those vices i do.) Vices that i wanted to cure by myself, which makes me a self centered person.I can create my own decision so fast that always turns out worst every time it was all done and said.

        I'm not that girl-next-door look and attitude on your block and I'm proud to be this Wimpy kid in school. I'm not that kind of girl whose flirt and a whore kind in your town,I'm not that stupid to stoop down on your level. I'm not seriously taking what people might say and tell me what kind of person I am and what i do.I'm that certain person who actually jumping into conclusion without acquiring it, I'm proud of that even if most people think that's a dumb move or what. If you ask me why? i'll simply tells you NEVER MIND.I'm gonna left you this phrase, and this will be the end of my blog for this time.

 "you can't stop others to talk against you, but you can make them eat what they've said about you"